Is This Lost?

I sit.
Lonely, humid.
The sweat drips.
Sticky droplets roll down my dreaded neck.
I itch.
Tight and loose, I have a headache.
Too many thoughts.
Too many thoughts.
Collect them, scramble to make it all fit together.
Unsettled the puzzle yells to be congruent.
Fix it please, my fingers are sliced and grazed.
My band-aid strips make sloppy work.
The work monocle is bent and cracked.
Blind, the eyes force information in.
Too many thoughts.
Want to scream, want to shout, I'm such a child.
I feel greedy and full of sloth, why I am so anti-kingdom?
I aim for a handful but i receive a pinch.
Yet that pinch is so fruitful.
and somehow I crave more, never satisfied.
I lose, but only because I let myself lose.
Apathy and I just can't get over each other, can we?
She just pulls me in, I can't help but embrace the lack of caring.
Her and Jealousy,  I stupidly picked them up on the street corner.
I am prostituting myself to the mundane.
Let It Go.
try to rest.
try to breathe.
5 days left.
5 till freedom.
5 till fear lunges at me.
5 till it gets quiet and peaceful.
5 till it gets quiet and lonesome.
5 till I can breathe again.
5 till I can breathe again.